Kesha headed to rehab four months ago to seek treatment for an eating disorder, and the singer has now spoken out about her struggles, saying that the music industry is a dangerous place.
The star may sing about partying a lot, but in a new essay that she's written for Elle UK, she really opened up about her treatment.
In the weeks before she decided to get help, the Blow singer admitted that her body felt like it was "shutting down," with her knowing that this wasn't just because of her hectic touring schedule.
"That first day in treatment was the scariest of my life," Kesha confessed. "I worried about what people would think. I was here for an eating disorder—but I knew people would assume I was here for other things."
Kesha got help for her eating disorder (Splash News)
She then added: "Sure, I've written songs about partying, but my dirty little secret is that I'm actually incredibly responsible. I take my music and career very seriously, and certainly didn't land in this situation from partying. But I was cut off from the outside world and I imagined people making up stories at a time when what I really needed was support."
"I've always tried to be a crusader for loving yourself, but I'd been finding it harder and harder to do personally," Kesha also said. "I felt like part of my job was to be as skinny as possible, and to make that happen, I had been abusing my body. I just wasn't giving it the energy it needed to keep me healthy and strong."
Singer now feels comfortable discussing her demons (WENN)
And working in an industry that's so focused on the way that people look, didn't help Kesha, either, with the star labelling the showbiz world a "dangerous" place.
"The music industry has set unrealistic expectations for what a body is supposed to look like, and I started becoming overly critical of my own body because of that," the 27-year-old singer said.
"I felt like people were always lurking, trying to take pictures of me with the intention of putting them up online or printing them in magazines and making me look terrible. I became scared to go in public, or even use the internet. I may have been paranoid, but I also saw and heard enough hateful things to fuel that paranoia."
However, the blonde said that she's now in a much happier place, with her really being able to work on herself whilst she was in rehab.
"During that time I began to feel a shift in my mentality and really started to understand my own self-worth. I started to not worry as much about what other people thought of me," she said. "I could focus on my music and my happiness and not what I looked like." Sharing her story was scary, but she hopes it helps people facing similar struggles.
"I'm not fully fixed—I am a person in progress—but I want to be part of the solution, not part of the problem. Even I need to be reminded that we are who we are," Kesha continued. "And when I say that, I f--king mean it, now more than ever."
We're glad she's on the road to recovery, though!
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