We hope you're sitting down as you read this, but Britney Spears' marriage to Kevin Federline was etched in holy matrimony 10 years ago this week.
It didn't take, but boy was it entertaining.
Britney Spears and Kevin Federline made it only two years. Which was by FAR the longer of her two marriages, but that's not saying a whole lot.
Just two years (and kids) later, the two had called it quits, but not before providing the pop icon's fans with plenty of memories they will cherish forever.
Or wish they could just as soon forget.
Even a decade later, it's still kind of hard to believe she slept with this guy - at least twice!! - but then again, Britney Spears has always had a down n' dirty side.
The high-class duo's interests ranged from fast food and table sliding to fart jokes, weed, cheap beer and lots and lots of feverish, unprotected sex.
Fun while it lasted, no doubt.
In honor of what would have been the 10th anniversary of their surprise wedding in September 2004, we've taken a look back at some Spederline highlights ...
The singer first met the backup dancer when he was doing his thing for the boy band LFO, which was touring with her back in 2000, her career apex.
Years later, the two finally started pawing each other.
It's no surprise that Kevin wanted to drop Shar Jackson, his pregnant girlfriend and already baby mama once before, to begin a romance with Spears.
Seriously. This is what she looked like back then:
Most people can only fantasize about Britney Spears with wallpaper like this. David Lucado could wallpaper himself with Britney's body and he let it slip away.
When they were reintroduced in April 2004, K-Fed did just that, not long after the ink dried on the annulment of Britney's first marriage to Jason Alexander.
Compared to the 55 hours they were married, Britney's union to Kevin was everlasting. She was actually the one to propose to Kevin while on the road.
He accepted, they got hitched and got pregnant, then got a reality show titled Britney & Kevin: Chaotic, which aired five whole episodes on UPN.
It was beyond terrible, and remains one of their best/worst gifts to humanity. By September of 2005, their first son Sean Preston Federline was born.
That kid is now nine, which is mind-blowing. Jayden James Federline, his younger brother, is now eight, having been born in September of 2006.
By that point, things had gone south however.
In November 2006, after an NYC appearance, she faxed her signature to her L.A. lawyers, who filed for divorce from Kevin, henceforth known as the FedEx Man.
Kevin was supposedly blindsided, and a tumultuous custody battle followed, culminating in the music legend's year-long meltdown from 2007-08.
Nowadays, things are more amicable. He wifed up Victoria Prince and had more kids, bringing his career total to six. Dude is so friggin' fertile.
Britney dumped David Lucado recently for cheating on her, having been engaged one additional time (to manager Jason Trawick) prior to that.
No more kids for the hot mama. Yet.
Where does Kevin Federline rank among Britney Spears' boyfriends and husbands through the years? Take a look at the full list of them below.
Some of them may surprise you ...
Yes, the man who took Britney's v-card was a high school love named Reg Jones.
This entry passed through the Full-Text RSS service - if this is your content and you're reading it on someone else's site, please read the FAQ at fivefilters.org/content-only/faq.php#publishers.
